Womanhood

Womanhood

A reflection inspired by a conversation with Lilan Lamoochi, Education Studies student at UCL

Recently, I was invited by Lilan Lamoochi, a student of Education Studies at UCL, to take part in her project on “Feminisms in General Perspective.” She asked me to sit with one simple but layered question: “What does womanhood mean to you?”

Our conversation moved through memories, challenges, cultural expectations, and the many ways care is taught - and sometimes imposed - on women from a young age.

Growing up in Iran, I learned early that ideas of femininity and care could be complex. Care was often assumed - something women were expected to give naturally, constantly, and without question. At times, it became “caring to please” rather than caring from a place of intention or choice.

That understanding of womanhood felt narrow, and sometimes quietly restrictive.

Leaving Iran, moving to London, ending a marriage, and choosing a new path were among the first decisions I made entirely for myself. They were frightening and liberating in equal measure, and they marked the beginning of a new chapter - one in which I began to shape my own understanding of womanhood, not through expectation but through self-discovery.

In our conversation, Lilan and I spoke about care as both a burden and a source of strength.
We talked about the patterns women inherit, the cycles we sometimes need to break, and the kind of love that grows when we learn to care without losing ourselves.

Today, my understanding of womanhood is rooted in balance:
the freedom to give with intention,
the courage to receive without guilt,
the strength to choose a gentler path for myself and the next generation,
and the trust that we can reshape the meanings we inherit.

Womanhood, to me, is not a fixed definition.
It is a continuous unfolding - shaped by culture, resistance, healing, and the quiet bravery of choosing who we want to become.

Talking with Lilan reminded me how powerful these conversations are between women across ages and experiences. We learn from one another. We soften for one another. We strengthen one another.

Much like food, womanhood carries stories, rituals, and memories - different for each of us, yet deeply universal.